Category: Uncategorized

The Godfather (comedy)

So, later today and all going well, I’m going to become a Godfather for the very first time. Like everything I do, this is something that I will take very seriously. Like, I’m even going to wear a tie and everything. To get me in to the right frame of mind I watched all three of “The Godfather” films. It took many hours but it was the right thing to do. I’m sure the parents are going to be very impressed with me.

Now, I finally understand why you become a Godfather in the Church. It’s part of the circle of life and death, so you don’t feel bad when your at the funerals of people you ordered to be killed Life really is simple sometimes.

Oh there is so much for me to do. Build a criminal empire, make lots of enemies (not a problem). Maybe, I can sell smokes to the kids down the road.

If the kid ever asks why are you my godfather? I’ll respond –

“Just When I Think I’m Out, They Pull Me Back In”

Maybe someday, if he really wants my advice about cooking I can tell him –

“Revenge is a dish best served cold.”

Oh yes, I am now a fountain of knowledge.

If other kids starts bullying him –

“Take The Gun, Leave The Cannoli”

When he makes new friends at kindergarten –

“A friend should always underestimate your virtues and an enemy overestimate your faults.”

If he asks me a difficult question like where do babies come from or where’s the nearest toilet? –

There are negotiations being made that are going to answer all of your questions and solve all of your problems. That’s all I can tell you right now.

If he’s Mammy puts him in the naughty corner –

It’s a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes.

When he’s not allowed watch more tv –

“Don’t let anybody kid you. It’s all personal, every bit of business. Every piece of shit every man has to eat every day of his life is personal. They call it business. OK. But it’s personal as hell. You know where I learned that from? The Don. My old man. The Godfather. If a bolt of lightning hit a friend of his the old man would take it personal. He took my going into the Marines personal. That’s what makes him great. The Great Don. He takes everything personal Like God. He knows every feather that falls from the tail of a sparrow or however the hell it goes? Right?

If he is wondering what job he’d like when he’s older –

“Finance is a gun. Politics is knowing when to pull the trigger.” Or maybe –

“The lawyer with the briefcase can steal more money than the man with the gun.”

When he wonders what he can do for me –

“Some Day, And That Day May Never Come, I Will Call Upon You To Do A Service For Me.”

If he ever tries to beat my fortnite high score –

What you think this is the army where you shoot them a mile away, you got to get them close like this and Bada-Bing! You blow your brains over your nice Ivy League suit.

Oh yes, I’m going to be a great Godfather.

Review of “Being Heumann: An unrepentant Memoir of a Disability Rights Activist” by Judith Heumann, Kristen Joiner

Hello readers, I had intended this post to be a review of a different book, but once I started reading this, I simply couldn’t stop. I first heard of Judith Heumann on a Netflix show called “Crip Camp” which was about the freedom a group of people with disabilities in their teens experienced in an annual camp they would go on. They would get to choose themselves what clothes they wanted to wear, what they wanted to eat and got an opportunity for sexual experiences. This was during the sixties, when their lives at home were very stifled. Importantly key friendships were formed that would later play a key role in the disability rights movement in the US. The camp is mentioned in the book, but it only takes up a few pages.

Heumann was affected by polio from a very early age, leaving her with limited use of her arms and legs. Her fight for anything even approaching equality started at an early age. The doctor told her parents that they should institutionalize her. But having fled the Nazis, this was not something they would let happen. None of the local schools would accept her, with one calling her a “fire hazard”. A regular blocking tactic used against those with disabilities. But, she had a strong advocate in her mother, who eventually managed to get her into a special school at the age of nine. Fortunately, her mother had been teaching her prior to that so had not fallen behind the curve.

From this inauspicious start, she goes on to become one of the most influential disability rights activists in US history fighting for the right to receive an education, have a job, and just be human.

As regards her activism, there are two things she is best remembered for. One is for suing the New York school system based on them refusing to give her a teacher’s license due to her disability and the second is for the role she played in the 1977 Section 504 sit in of Federal Buildings. Section 504 more or less outlawed organizations that received federal funding from discriminating on the grounds of disability. However, the Government were slow to enact the law leading to the sit in. It was the longest takeover of a government building in history. Of course, it wasn’t plain sailing and this was probably the most interesting part of the book as a complex game of strategy and intrigue played out.

The passing of Section 504, was an important precedent of the later American with Disabilities Act whose consequences reverberated around the world leading to many other countries following suit.

An important insight is also provided into the early beginnings of the CIL movement, not only through her own struggles, but also the different roles she played in Berkeley where it all began. She also documents trying to spread the movement internationally, something that has benefited many people with disabilities in Ireland.

Heumann is the type of woman, the movement as a whole was very luck to have. Steely, driven with a supreme intellect I can’t shake the feeling she underplayed her role in important events.

The only drawback to this memoir is that at times it is too heavy on facts and lacks a more personal touch. Her romantic relationships are barely covered and truly intimate details are rarely disclosed. The price is also steep, having paid twelve euro for an electronic version. It’s way too high.

Overall, I’d give this book four stars out of five. But try to get it in the library.

Review of “My Left foot” by Christie Brown

This is a book I have always wanted to read. Most of you have probably already seen the eponymous film it later inspired. For those who have not, Brown was the tenth of twenty-two children (thirteen of whom survived). Back then, child mortality was very high, especially in the urban areas of Ireland. Brown was diagnosed with severe cerebral palsy and his parents were told that they should put him into an institution and forget about him because he would be a “mental defective”. From what we know now, this would have been a death sentence. This novel was published in 1954, when Brown was still just twenty two years, so most of it is set in 1930’s and 1940’s Dublin. This was a very different time and place to modern Ireland.

Brown relies on his family for all of his basic needs and his speech in his early years is intelligible to all, but his family. That is why it is such a breakthrough when they realize that he is able to communicate by writing with his left foot. At first, it is just a letter, but with perseverance especially from his mother he improves over time. His mother is the other central character in the novel. She is the one who didn’t give up on him and got him to make the most of what he had. Later Brown also uses his left foot to paint. It turns out that he is very good and this is what brings him to wider public attention in his teenage years, when he wins a competition.

In a way, he was fortunate to be from such a large family as his brothers brought him out and about them with them. However, as happens with many people with disabilities, as one grows older growing awareness of one being somewhat different leads to many isolating themselves. Alas, this is what happened to him, and it appears he rarely left the house from the age of eight or nine.

There were people who cared about his plight though. A young nurse who visited him and encouraged his writing. Then later, a doctor who believes that he can be cured by “physiotherapy”. In a way, I found this part of the book quite interesting as Brown has perhaps inadvertently given a fascinating insight into the early beginnings of Disability Support Services and treatments.

At the time, the cause of cerebral palsy was unknown. It appears that the doctors told him with the required effort, he could become “normal”. They even told him to stop using his left foot as this would hold his recovery back (thankfully, he eventually ignores them). Alas, the benefits of physio were oversold. However, it does make a difference and has benefited many people with disabilities, including myself to this day. They have to rent rooms in which to carry out their activities. There is no Central Remedial Clinic, no IWA, nothing and there wouldn’t be for another decade or so.

Browns writing is quite funny at times, despite the dark content of basically being trapped inside a body that mostly doesn’t function. He originally thought of putting “mental defective” in the title of book, to show how wrong the doctors were. Perhaps, he should have.

The film seems to include many things that are not in this book. There is no fight in a pub for a start! In fact, alcohol is not consumed at all in the book. In reality, Brown is an alcoholic. Also, there’s no mention of his sister becoming pregnant out of wedlock, like in the film, which leads him to shouting at his father to leave her alone. I learned that there is a later novel he writes, which is darker that he never admits to being autobiographical, which maybe is where these scenes came from.

Or maybe they are just pure fiction. The novel ends fairly abruptly at a ceremony to raise funds for cerebral palsy, but he’s still only 22. The film ends with news that Brown married the love of his life before choking to death at the age of 49. In reality, according to his family he married a former prostitutes who neglected him. It does seem that he loved her though, so who are we to judge?

In any event, he will always be one of my heroes. He triumphed against great adversity, and played a role in highlighting disability in the Irish mainstream. It may come as no surprise that it gets five stars out of five from me.

A Covid Romance (Pt. 7)

Wow I can’t believe that I’ve ended up in his house. Everything is so neat and tidy compared to my own. Sean is looking so good, or maybe it’s just the vodka or that I haven’t been in the company of a man for so long.

At first, we sit at the table and I pour him a drink.

He drinks slowly, not like me.

“Do you not drink?”

“No, not that much. But on the plus side, at least that means I’ll get drunk really easily!”

“Yes, that is good.”

For over an hour we talked. I couldn’t help but gaze into his big, brown eyes.

“You have beautiful eyes , do you know that?” I suddenly interjected.

Sean’s face suddenly turned crimson.

“Eh thanks, nobody has ever said that to me before.”

“Really, even before the..”

“No,” shaking his head.

“What happened?”

“A drunk driver,” he replied solemnly.

I found myself reaching for and holding his hand. It felt so good to touch another human being. His hand was cool.

“Are you cold?”

“We were outside and well, I get cold quickly.”

Without a second thought, I draped my body over him and began to rub his arms. Our faces were beside each other now, and I could feel the warmth of his breath. Then I looked straight at him and kissed him. Gently, at first but then harder. My tongue entered and swirled around his mouth. A few minutes later, my hands reached under his shirt and caressed his surprisingly firm body. I could feel him trying to touch my breasts, but he couldn’t take off my bra. So, for a moment I stopped and took off my upper clothes.

He rubbed my breasts gently at first before licking them and sucking on my nipples, something that has always driven me wild with passion.

He whispered into my ear that he still had sensation in his penis. In my drunken state, it was all that I needed to here as I got fully naked and we grind-ed on his wheelchair. It didn’t take me long to climax, something that he was no longer capable of.

As I sat down afterwards, the sweat dripping off both our bodies I could only think of saying one thing –

“That was good vodka.”

He just grinned in response.

End –

Well readers do let me know what you think. Feel free to suggest any improvements before the final version in long format, or if you have ideas for future stories. Or maybe, you’d like to hear more from these characters

P.S. Got my jab today! Feeling good so far 🙂

A Covid Romance (Pt. 6)

The time for meeting was fast approaching and Sean found that his heart was beating faster and that he was breaking out into a cold sweat. He knew that he liked Serena but did she feel the same way?

What did she think of him being in a wheelchair? He wasn’t good with women, even when he could walk.

They were just having a chat out the back garden. He was way over thinking this. There was nothing untoward or erotic about two neighbours having a chat in their gardens no matter what the guidelines might say. This was what he was telling himself.

And anyway, this wasn’t just any woman he would be meeting, it was Serena. She was as kind and considerate as she was beautiful. There was nothing for him to fear. Gradually, he found himself becoming more relaxed till it was time to go outside to the great outdoors.

For a few minutes, he was left waiting, but then Serena’s face appeared over the green hedge with a wide smile.

“Fancy, seeing you here,” he said jokingly.

“Yes, I love my garden so much. I’m here all the time.”

Sean could tell that she had gone to the effort of putting on make-up. Her blonde hair was blowing gently in the wind.

” So, how was your day?” she asked inquisitively.

“Fine, just finished having something to eat.”

With that the conversation went back and forth, till Sean noticed something strange.

“Are you drinking?”

“Yes, vodka. Do you want some?”

Sean tried to insist that he would be okay but then she went out of view. For a brief moment, he had no idea where she had gotten to. Then he saw his hedge shaking at the bottom of his garden and she appeared with two glasses and a bottle of vodka.

“You have a secret passage-way through the hedge,” she laughed.

She was wearing a tracksuit bottoms and a jumper. As she approached, all thoughts of the virus went out of his head and he quickly accepted some of the vodka.

“Is it not Russians that like vodka, not the Poles?” Sean said mischievously.

“Yes, but we live close to them!”

Sean’s upper body was getting cold now and he knew that his paralyzed limbs would be even colder.

“Let’s go into my kitchen. It’s cold out here.”

“Yes, that is good. Let’s go inside.”

Review of film – “Antebellum”

Well readers, I have surpassed one hundred posts. This is my 104th to be precise. It’s come quicker than I ever thought it would. Still, not quite a millionaire though as I had hoped by this time, but I guess – what’s the rush?

As you probably already noticed, I haven’t done any reviews of films in quite some time. But, I thoroughly enjoyed this one and just had to mention it. Antebellum is a 2020 American thriller written and directed by Gerard Bush and Christopher Renz in their feature directorial debuts. And what a good job they do. It is a Sky production

The opening shot on a cotton plantation run by Confederation soldiers sets the scene for the tone of the film. The cruelty, savagery and barbarity of slavery is laid bare when we see what happens when slaves have tried to escape. No mercy is shown.

We are then given a glimpse into their day to day lives of drudgery. They are not allowed speak unless a white man is present. The film’s main actress Janelle Monae is superb. I only found out that she is a famous rapper after the film.

The movie then brings us to the modern day where Janelle is playing a famous black author rather than than the slave Eden. Here, she is seen living the good life and challenging the patriarchy and systemic racism of the modern day.

There is a connection between space and time, but your not told what it is or what form it will take. The twist is simply brilliant. Make sure not to watch any trailers for this film. Allow yourself to be sucked in to what is happening. The ending is exciting, edge of the seat stuff.

Overall, I’d give this film four stars out of five. Make sure to check it out.

A Covid Romance (Pt. 5)

Serena wasn’t quite sure when it exactly happened that she found herself pining for Sean to text. They had begun texting each other back and forth each day, ostensibly to ensure they were both doing okay, at least that was the charade that she told herself.

But, then she found herself looking forward to receiving them and to think that he only lived next door. At times, she just wanted to tell him that she would just come on over, But the advice was adamant, you were not to mingle with other people. In truth, she would have just ignored that advice if he wasn’t in a wheelchair, making him that much more vulnerable.

She had never been with a disabled man before, all she knew was that he was handsome and kind and that she wanted to wrap her arms around him. Not that she had told him that yet.

  • Chat tomorrow x

Her heart fluttered for a moment. Was the “x” too soon, too presumptuous?

  • Yes chat then x

What did his “x” mean? Did it mean anything at all?

Oh, this felt like a strange form of torture. She wanted to touch, to put her fingers through his hair. She couldn’t remember quite feeling like this before. Perhaps, her mind was playing cruel tricks on in her, in her isolation.

  • I’d love to talk face to face, well with the two metres.
  • Yeah that would be nice. Maybe out the back. You could talk to me over the dividing wall.

With that, their first date was set for later that day.

Review of “Extropia: Mind Game” by Robin Bootle

Dear Readers, I have just finished reading this excellent, epic novel today. “Extropia: Mind Game” is science fiction bordering on fantasy, set in a virtual world. It has excellent pacing and it keeps the reader engaged throughout. It is the first in a series.

Edward, the main protagonist discovers his father and brother are not dead as he had believed, but are trapped in the virtual world of Extropia. Despite much danger, he sets out to free them with the help of an FBI officer called Elizabeth from the evil game character Doefol whose exploits now threaten the real world. A sub plot is Edward’s unresolved issues about his mother’s death that had damaged his relationships with his brother and father while they were still with him.

At first, he faces the Virtual World as if it was just any other game, but the characters in Extropia use artificial intelligence, and they have their own thoughts and feelings. At times things are far too real. Virtual death is reality death too.

The writing is slick and there are beautiful descriptions of the different settings and great battles. At times, it has a real “Lord of the Rings” feel to it.

It also raises some fundamental questions about interacting with AI. Is it okay that the virtual characters were created to feel pain and anguish?

Is it acceptable to keep reality from them?

What the novel does lack is a bit of romance. A relationship could easily have developed between Edward and Elizabeth. It would have add added a further layer to the story and spiced things up a bit.

Overall, I give this novel four stars out of five.

As always please subscribe and let me know your thoughts.

A Covid Romance (Pt. 4)

Sean found himself anxiously waiting for Serena’s return. He was hungry when she left, but now he was positively starving. Perhaps, he thought to himself, he should have given her a smaller list so that she would return faster. Then his mind quickly switched to how pretty she looked in her mask, with her shoulder length blond hair. The memory of her sweet rose tinted perfume drove his mind wild. Perhaps, he just needed to be round women his own age more. Just as quickly, his mind switched back to food and thoughts of a tasty burger. He could almost taste it.

He switched through the different tv channels trying to find something interesting to take his mind off his predicament but they all taunted him with food advertisements. Then, there was a flicker of light outside emanating from the house next door. His heart started to beat that bit faster as he wheeled towards the front door.

It still took another few minutes before she rang the doorbell giving Sean enough time to put on mask. He hated having to put them on, but it was what was recommended and made him feel that bit safer.

“Hi Sean, here is your shopping. Will I bring it in for you?”

Sean hesitated for a second. It wasn’t ideal for her to enter to enter the house, but he was unsure if he would be able to carry all the stuff inside himself.

“Yeah, brilliant If you could just leave things on the kitchen table for me, that would be great. I’ll just reverse and get out of your way a bit, to keep the two metres.”

With that, she walked past not quite giving him the distance that he had hoped for. It may have been somewhat lost in translation.

Sean noticed that she wasn’t wearing any gloves as she put his second bag down. His Personal Assistant had been wearing them for some time. It almost seemed erotic to see a naked hand. He wondered what it would feel like to touch, would it be cold from being outside? Then the sound of her voice brought him back to reality.

“So, will you be okay now? Your change is there on the table.”

“Yes, that will be fine, thanks a million.”

“Ring me, if you need anything or to talk. It’s good to talk.”

Sean nodded in agreement and with that she left.

It took quite some time for Sean to pack everything away and get something to eat. But, he did enjoy that burger.

As he lay down in bed he decided to send Serena a text message.

  • Thanks so much for earlier. Was a huge help.

Her response was almost immediate.

  • No worries, did you cook something nice.

With that, they began to text each other back and forth about their jobs, the pandemic and what food they enjoyed into the late night.

A Covid Romance (Pt.3)

Serena was cooking a bigos, a traditional stew dish of meat and vegetables from her native Poland. Anything to take her mind off things. It was best just to ignore the crisis, at least for now. The constant worry and fear was too much. Better to do something she loved, even if she was the only one who was going to get to eat it.

Then she heard the buzzing sound of her phone. Thinking that it was probably someone from work looking to talk about the pub being closed, she didn’t check the caller id.

“Yes, Serena here.”

“Eh, this is Sean. I live next door to you. You called a few weeks ago.”

For a moment Serena wasn’t sure who it was. But then she realized.

“Oh yes Sean, how is everything? Do you need my help with anything?”

“Well, you see my PA is not able to come and she usually gets my groceries. And well, I’m not really supposed to leave the house and -“

“You want me to shop for you?”

“Eh yeah, please. That would be great.”

“Okay, I will call over in an hour. You can give me the list and money.”

“Grand, see you then.”

Serena put down the phone.

After her meal was cooked and eaten, she wondered if she should go and put on some make-up. She went to the mirror and was less than impressed with what she saw. Her hair was unkempt and her eyes looked dull. She hadn’t worried much about her appearance when she was meeting “the couple” but somehow this felt different. Maybe cause he was a man and much closer to her own age. He actually sounded quite sexy on the phone and anyway it was important to look good. So that was that, her decision was made. If she didn’t hurry though, she would be late and it’s not like she could blame the traffic.

Finally, when she felt presentable and walked out the front door. It was wet and breezy, probably undoing much of her good work getting ready.

Within seconds she was knocking at his front door, feeling an unexpected tinge of excitement.

Sean opened the door more fully this time. Even though a mask covered half of his face, she could tell he was handsome and found herself gazing into his piercing brown eyes He was wearing a denim short and trousers. Now that she could see him better she reckoned he was in his early thirties just like herself.

“Here is the list and thirty euro should cover it.”

He reached out and handed it to her.

“Right, I will come back with your groceries and change once I’m done.”

With that, they gave each other a little wave goodbye.