After, this I’m afraid you will have to purchase on Amazon…

Four months back into the job, Sean was feeling somewhat down.  The job was just so boring, he needed something more.  There was none of the excitement of his old life.  Then as he was preparing his breakfast a news item on the radio piqued his interest.  It was short and was just after breaking but hinted at something more.

• A dead man and woman were found in a remote house near Wicklow Town last night.  The Gardai have opened a murder investigation.  They are not releasing any further details as of yet.

It was very unusual to have multiple murders in one incident in Ireland.  It could have a gangland hit but the location seemed odd.  Sean put these thoughts to the back of mind and went off to work.

The station was buzzing when he got there.  There were rumors that these murders were truly extraordinary in how horrific they were.  The bodies had been cut to pieces and left strewn around the house.  But Sean laughed, he knew to be wary of rumors he heard around the station.  Some Gardai had fascinating imagination.

It was perhaps a strange twist of fate that Sean had by now become good friends with Garda Laura Mulhern and met her for his tea break whenever she was not on patrol.  Perhaps she felt guilty over what had happened but Sean who had never been that popular was happy to have someone to chat with whatever the reason.  

In truth, Sean thought she had felt sorry for him at first.  He had probably seemed lost.  But never guilt, he would have picked it up.  Then after chatting to him a few times she found herself looking forward to seeing him perhaps.  The chair had taken away some of his rougher edges and he was sure he seemed more agreeable and less cocky now.  She wasn’t the only one who probably thought so.

Garda Jack Halpenny would also sometimes join them.  He could be outspoken at times and Sean was still trying to warm to him.  Previously they would have had no time for each other at all so it was also somewhat an improvement.

That morning there was only one topic of discussion, the murders.   Jack was adamant, almost salivating that it must be linked to the gang warfare going on at the time.

“A message is being sent to the wider population – Don’t cross us.  I’ve seen this kind of thing before on tv.   It has happened In Italy and Brazil. It’s not uncommon for whole families to be wiped out; in Italy, a young boy was kidnapped, tortured, murdered and then had his body dissolved in acid,” he said excitedly.

“Well, I think it is just awful!  Imagine what those poor people went through, especially if it’s anything like the rumors suggests.  I shudder to even just think about it,” Laura interjected.

Sean, for the most part, stayed silent, intrigued by what had happened and wanting to know more.  His old investigative instinct was awakening.

The case was outside the jurisdiction of their station so ultimately, they would have to wait for the news that night on television like the rest of the country or at least that’s what they thought.  But a copy of the murder report came across Sean’s desk later that day due to his data entry role and relatively high rank.  It was marked “urgent”.

It made for very disturbing reading and it was clear to Sean that this was no gangland hit but rather something else again and much worse.  The rumors were far more accurate than previously.  It had indeed been a bloodbath.  The pathologist still had to complete her examination but her preliminary notes stated that the male had his throat slit, while the woman had been stabbed multiple times and had her right breast removed and left on the kitchen table.

Sean could barely believe what he was reading but he diligently entered it into the database.  He thought about how disgusted and paranoid the public would be when the details were reported. 

“Who would do such a thing?” he thought to himself.

Really there was only one kind of person who would do it – a serial killer, he had read about them previously.  They were very rare in Ireland though.  But Sean knew there were officers already dealing with it.  There was no point him getting too hung up on it all; he just wished he was one of them.

Once the clock hit five Sean rushed home from work anxious to see what was reported on the RTE news, only just about making it back in time.  But he was disappointed, it was only allocated a brief mention of two bodies, a murder investigation and nothing about the heinous nature of the murders was mentioned.

He struggled to sleep that night.  Different thoughts kept racing through his head as if he could solve the murders by just lying there in his bed if he just tried hard enough.  Then he wondered why so much punishment was meted out to the woman but the man just had his throat slit.  Eventually, he managed to think about something else and fell asleep.  Little did he know what awaited him the next day.

He had only wheeled into his office a few minutes when he was informed that the Superintendent wanted to see him in his office.  This was most unusual; he had only spoken to him a few times since his return and had never officially been requested to go to his office before.  He thought it better not to keep his superior waiting so off he went.

He was immediately waved in and his superior closed the door behind them.  What followed was brief but to the point. 

“I’m guessing you have heard about the double homicide just outside Wicklow Town.  They had no records Sean, not even a parking ticket.  There is nothing to suggest that these people are anything other than totally innocent victims.  It appears that they were selected at random.  I’ve never seen anything like this before; the poor woman was butchered.  The Gardai will do everything possible to apprehend whatever monster is responsible as quickly as possible,” said the Superintendent sternly, his face grimacing.

“Due to your rank and your familiarity with the National Criminal Database; I’ve been told your something of a dab hand you are being given a key role in keeping it updated with new information about the case and setting the correct security clearances for each piece.  Although the murders had been in Wicklow, the next murders if any could be in another county and it is important that the Gardai are able to link them.”

Sean then stated that he had already begun to do so, with the first document arriving the previous day.  The Superintendent nodded saying it must have been sent right after he received the phone call.  He then said it was important to keep his role quiet, that he didn’t want other personnel in the station becoming distracted to which Sean nodded in agreement.

Three days later Sean received the full report from the pathologist.  By now more details had been circulated in the news media about the victims.  They were husband and wife, both in their late twenties.  The news stated that the details of their murders were too gruesome to report.  He was an engineer and she a nurse.

Dutifully Sean scanned the report and uploaded it on to the database with the highest-level clearance required to read it.  It made for somber reading.  The man had been constrained with rope in a chair for up to two hours prior to death and died about an hour after his wife.  She had endured the most brutality.   She had been raped `multiple times prior to her death for up to two hours.  The cause of death was multiple stab wounds with her body mutilated afterward.  Of note, some of her genital hair had been removed as well as her right breast.  Unfortunately, no fingerprints had been left at the scene.  This killer was very meticulous.

Sean almost got sick looking at the photos.  They were unlike anything he had seen previously and he wondered if he would need counseling by the end of the Investigation.  But mostly, he felt pity for what the two people had gone through; the pain and terror they endured.

He wanted to share what he knew with his colleagues especially Laura but he remembered what his superior had told him.  It was a lonely experience but he resigned himself to it.  At least he felt that he was close to being at the heart of things again.

After a few weeks, the case slowly faded from the news and as a topic of general conversation.  There was a hope that it was just a gruesome once-off event.  Instead, the crime news was saturated by the gang warfare in Dublin.  A bullet in the head here and a knifing over there.

As promised, here is Chapter 2.

Sean was delighted to finally leave the hospital.  It had taken some planning of course.  Adjustments had to be made to his house and a home help was organized to help him keep the house clean.  He quickly accepted that from now on, he would only be living in the bottom half of his house.  Upstairs would henceforth, be only a place of his memories.

His life was still far from the ideal of course.  At least he had a downstairs toilet, as small as it was but no shower.  It would be difficult to keep himself presentable.  Then for a few weeks, there was the boredom.  He had nothing to get up for in the morning and worried that the Gardai would be unable to find a position for him.  He couldn’t see any chance of anybody else giving him a job and he needed some purpose to fill his day.

Occasionally when it looked like it would remain dry, he would venture out into the outside world.  It was a struggle to push his wheelchair around the neighborhood and it wasn’t long before he knew where all the ramps to get on and off the footpaths were and were not, something that he had never thought about before.  His hands would be sore on his return though so he only went out once a day at most.

Sometimes the kids would point and ask their parents questions when they saw him.  That used to happen when he was in uniform too but this felt different and his heart now felt crushed every time. 

The questions now were –

What happened to him?

Was he born that way?

The parents would hurriedly tell them to be quiet but the damage was done.  Sean knew that this was something he would just have to get used to.

But there were positive reactions too.  Some of his neighbors made an effort to get out of their cars and houses to come and tell him how happy they were to see him make a recovery.  It warmed his heart, much more than he would have ever thought possible to know that members of his wider community were rooting for him.

After a few weeks, he grew anxious to see a bit more of the world than his immediate locality.  There was only one way to do this and that was to get back into a car and drive.  His insurance company had given him a substantial payout after his accident, some of which he used to purchase an adapted car.  For weeks it had sat idly in his driveway. 

Sean had ignored it until then.  Now it was goading him that it wanted to be used and he could take it no more.  One Monday morning he summoned up all his courage and strength to get into it.  A physiotherapist had previously shown him the method to use.   Park his wheelchair beside the door; then launch himself using his hands before folding up the wheelchair and lifting into a secure spot in the car behind his seat.

It all seemed so easy in theory but Sean was worried about the embarrassment if someone saw him fail attempting the maneuvers.  But he proceeded nonetheless.  He gave it everything.  It proved to be as physically demanding as he thought it would be but he did it.  Hopefully, it would get easier with practice he thought to himself.  Then he closed the car door and went for a drive.

He was nervous the whole time, worried that a car would veer into him again.  But he knew that if he wanted a future, this was something he had to do.  He drove for over an hour wanting to see if much had changed; through the city center and passed his Garda station to which he hoped to return.  Part of him wanted to go in and say hello to everyone but he thought it best to leave it for now.   The street was busy and he wondered how he would manage when he did go back to work.

But he also drove past some of the main hotspots of crime in the city.  The socially deprived inner-city flat complexes and the secret brothels that lay just behind some of Dublin’s busiest streets.  The memories flooded back, some of them good and some that he’d rather forget.  He felt a pang of regret for some of the things he had done especially since he had been treated so well since the accident.  All he could do is to try and be better in the future.

Just as well nobody spotted him, he thought to himself as he began his journey back to his house.  When he reached it, he felt an immense sense of accomplishment.  But he was emotionally drained.  A million different thoughts ran through his head about his past and what the future had in store for him.  Exhausted, he went straight to bed.

A few weeks later, he got the call that he was hoping for.  It was the Chief Superintendent and the news was good.  Sean was to start back at work the following Monday.  With a sense of elation, he told the Superintendent that he’d be there.  Finally, Sean felt that everything might just work out for him.  That the crash might just be a footnote in his life.

The days passed quickly for Sean and it was Monday morning before he knew it.  The elation had now turned to nervousness.  Sean knew that it was an important day, he felt that he had to prove that he could still be useful to the force.  Living on the Disability Allowance for the rest of his life would be a miserable existence.

Fortunately, he had spent the last few days practicing his new routine and was now much more proficient at getting over bumps in his wheelchair and getting in and out of the car.  So off he went.  The traffic was horrible but he had left early to make sure he had enough time.  It was a nice, bright day.  He could feel his heart beating as the station came into view.

Fortunately, the wheelchair space at the front of the station was free and he quickly parked up.  Just as well because he wasn’t sure what to do if it was taken.  He just counted his blessings and got out of the car as quickly as possible.  He was conscious that he was wearing his Garda uniform and didn’t want any awkward stares so he quickly went up the side ramp.  The front door was heavy and he only just managed to open it and go inside.

It led him straight into the main reception area.  It was busy with five people already seated in the waiting area.  Sean felt awkward and tried to avoid eye contact.  Fortunately, there was a Garda at the reception who immediately opened a side door into their offices and told him to come in and that the Superintendent would be with him shortly.

It was still exactly as he remembered it, rows of desks with vintage computers and scattered paper was strewn everywhere.  There were not many people in yet, it was still quite early.  It was quite some time before the Superintendent finally appeared but when he did, it was with a warm smile and firm handshake.  The office was busier by then and starting to burst into life.

The Superintendent told him that it would be best to speak in his office so Sean followed him there down a narrow corridor.  It was a small room, especially considering his position but Sean managed to squeeze in past a table.

For the next thirty minutes, they chatted about Sean’s new role at the Station.  There was good and bad news.  The good news was that they had an office ready waiting for him.  There was a disabled toilet close by and the Gardai were prepared to do whatever it took to make sure he was a success.  Much to Sean’s relief there was a parking spot reserved for him around the back of the station.  He was given a key so he could swipe through the barrier.  He could wear civilian clothes, which was good because he had found the uniform quite stiff and cumbersome to put on that morning.  Anyway, he never had to wear it in his old role anyway.  But there was bad news too, although Sean had expected it.  He would, for the time being, have no investigative role, it would be more of a processing role, updating records on the Garda databases.

The reason Sean had become a Garda was that he didn’t want an office job where he would be stuck in front of a computer screen.  He wanted something that bit different and more exciting but times had changed and he told him that he was happy with what they had arranged. Then the Superintendent showed him to his new desk.  It was in a small, cramped room at the very back of the station with just enough room to maneuver the wheelchair, but it was adequate and Sean was certain he could make it work.  His first batch of paperwork to process had been left beside the computer.  The Superintendent told him he would check in with him in a few days but Sean told him he would be fine.  There was nothing left to do now but get on with it.

Well readers, what do you think?

I’m pretty happy with it myself.

The nightmare has begun. Read if you dare. Warning – Strong scenes of violence and horror.

It is now available on Amazon.